Rachel felt guiltier than ever when he said this. What she had done to Luke the other night, blowing him off more than twice, was something she shouldn't have done, and she knew that, so why did she do it? She wanted Luke to trust her, and she knew that kissing him or getting him to stop in the rain would gain little trust but it was a start. She didn't know what else to do.
"I...I'm sorry Luke. I don't know what else to tell you..." Rachel said, trying her absolute hardest to make eye contact with him.
"its in the past..." he shrugged with a litlte smile "we're together now...and nothing can take that from us" Luke still had that doubt that she wanted to be with him. that doubt was growing the words that Haley had told him, but he would keep it a secret at least for now
Somehow Rachel knew this wasn't the end of this conversation. Something was still bothering Luke and she could tell by how quiet he was being with her. The night of his show at the club, Luke had been loud and forward with her but today, despite the circumstances, he was holding back. He was holding back this time not her.
"Yeah...I guess your right," Replied Rachel throwing a weak smile his way. She was happy to say the least but to think that he might not be, made it harder for her to smile.
Luke gave a little smile to her and set his eyes on the tv. everytime he would talk to someone, negative feedback was all he got about Rachel. it was hard to say the least, the girl he liked was turning out to be just another girl in the world. but what was he to do? he didnt want to ruin this for he knew this was his chance to shine infront of her without anyone being there to stop it from happening except for the two of them
What Rachel had first thought of to be a dream come true was turning out to be a disaster. Sure no one had said anything about it, but the fact that Luke could barely look her in the eye for longer than a few seconds, the way he could barely talk to her, had become obvious over the past half hour. He would be completely honest with her if something else was bothering him right?
Asking too many questions was a flaw of Rachels. It always got her put into a tough position and she knew this wouldnt be any different if she decided to ask him what else was wrong, "Luke...Is something else bothering you?" Rachel had made many mistakes in her like, some she deeply regretted others not so much, but if there was one thing she regretted the most...Little did she know she was soon to find out what it was.
Luke always found it odd why people bottled up their feelings or emotions...if someone asked you whats wrong? doesnt that mean they want to help you? so why would you turn help down if you are in over your head of something? Luke wasnt one to bottle his emotions so why would be start now..
licking his lip Luke let out a breath before he began "i umm...i know why Craig and Haley broke up...and i know about Jer...and everything " he shrugged looking down. he was pissed off about it but what was he to do...
Happily ever afters were over rated. Well...Now they were. It seemed that Rachel had now made more mistakes than she had first thought, and she'd even gotten confirmation from Luke. But what had her at a loss for words was the mention of Jeremy's name. She haden't done anything with Jeremy. There was nothing there, and even if there was, it was before the two had even thought about dating.
Pulling out of his comfort, Rachel slide over on the chair so she could look at him, "What exactly did you hear Luke?" She asked calmly.
"i dont know if its true of just lies but...apparently your the reason Craig and Hales broke up. Craig wanted to be with you..and as for Jer..i dont know...i just heard that you were jealous about something" he shrugged "after hearing all of it....it just feels like im the last resort or something"
Rachel couldn't think of one time when she had felt this guilty...Ok well she did feel guilty when Craig had told her he broke up with Haley for her, but there were two reasons for that. One being that she had liked Luke and changed the subject on Craig and the second being that it had hurt Haley to figure it out. But this was different. Luke knew about Craig's feelings for her and he had obviously heard from someone that Rachel had kissed Jeremy, but hearing the words 'last resort' come from his lips was something she couldn't handle hearing.
"I...I don't know what you heard or who you heard it from Luke, but Craig did break up with Haley for me, but we didn't do anything. And even if we did..." Hesitating for a minute, Rachel thought about what she was going to say. That would help her one bit. Shaking her head she started over, "I dont know what you heard about either of them Luke, but Craig and I didn't do anything. What he said didn't change how I felt about you. And Jeremy and I are just friends. I went to apologize to him for something I did a few weeks ago and he told me that I was no longer his favorite blonde..." She gripped the blanket on her lap, "Its just a joke...He told me the only way I could get the title back was by kissing him...And I did. It didn't mean anything...I swear."
"I can't say I dont feel something for Craig, or Jerry for that matter...And im trying here. Im being honest with you...There will always be something there for them...But your not a last resort Luke. And you never will be. Niether of them made me feel the way you make me feel and neither of them are you...And if you dont believe me, then I dont know if this will work..." Rachel finished, her face features filled with guilt.
what was Luke to say now...he was given truth but also lies and he couldnt necessarily be angry with her because she hadnt realyl done anything wrong. but it still felt like he was in last place when it came to her heart. Luke nodded with head "Rachel...i wanna be with you..i do believe you...and honestly from what you said..your still going to have those feelings for them...but are you ever going to reach out and take advantage when your given the chance?" he asked hopign she wouldnt
"Yes...No?...Maybe?" Rachel was quick to reply to Luke's question but perhaps she should have thought about it before answering. The way she had thought about his question was that if she was given the chance to do something she would take it. Luke was giving her a chance so of course the answer would be yes, but...How was she supposed to give him a straight answer if he was talking about it in general?
Letting out a gentle sigh, Rachel's eyes removed themselves from Lukes features, and moved around the room. From the tv, to the book shelf, from the floor to her hands, Rachel didn't know what to do. Shrugging, she continued to avoid eye contact with Luke, "I don't know what you mean..." She said simply, hoping he'd explain himself.
"if either of them came up to you...and told you that they wanted to be with you and they would do absolutely anything to be with you...would you go for it and leave me in the dust?" Luke wanted the truth...but he wanted to hear her say no as well
If this is what dating Luke was like after only one hour, than Rachel was beginning to wonder what it would be like after a few days...or months...Depending how long they made it, which in her opinion didnt look to be progressing very well already. "I...I dunno..." Rachel said with some hesitation, clearing trying to hold back a rush of frustration she had for herself. If he was in any position like her, he would know just how hard it was. After all, he couldnt have been a perfect angel either. She of course was far from one, that much was obvious. "What if you were that one Luke?" She asked, lifting her head to look at him finally, "What if you were the one telling me that you wanted to be with me and would do anything to have it that way?...Are you telling me I should say no?..." She looked him in the eye now.
Last Edit: Jan 24, 2007 23:08:06 GMT by Rachel Stone
Luke just laughed as he looked into her eyes. "i have been there...and i have told you that...more than once i might add. do you remember your answer?" he asked raising an eyebrow as he locked eyes with her. "you blew me off....twice! so what am i suppose to think? im a guy...ya i like you and im attracted to you just like every other guy in Crystal Falls...but im different from them, unlike them i take the risk...more then once.." shaking his head one more time he hesitated for a moment but decided not to. as he rose from the couch
"Luke!" Rachel exclaimed, following him off the couch, "What do you want me to do! Your bombarding me with questions that i've never had to answer before!" She put her hands over her face and ran them down to her lips, till her mouth was covered by the tips of her fingers. Shaking her head, she hated to admit it, but despite the fact that she had been the one to blow him off twice in one night, she was the one being torn apart inside, "I've made mistakes ok...Just like everybody else...But not once have I regretted them as much as I am right now. Im not saying these things to make you take my side or...To make you feel sorry for me." The tone of her voice was sharp, as her eyes narrowed, "Im telling you the truth and thats the best I can do. If thats not enough...Than...I dont know what is. You can believe what you hear and who you hear it from...But the only thing I did wrong was push you away...But im not now! At least not purposly!"